When I Wasn't Sure It Would Work Out

I can look back now and say God was faithful, but in the moment, I was not always sure how things were going to turn out. I’m a pastor in Shelby, Ohio at Shelby Alliance Church. I love what I get to do. I believe God called me to it. But there is a difference between believing you’re called and feeling confident when things get hard. There was a season, especially through 2023 into 2024, where a lot felt uncertain. Attendance was slipping. Giving was down enough that real conversations had to happen about whether I might need to take work outside the church again to support my family. That kind of pressure does something to you. It gets in your head. You start replaying decisions. You start wondering what you’re missing.

I remember sitting with those thoughts late at night after everyone else was asleep. The house would be quiet, and my mind would be loud. “Lord, are we doing the right things?” “Did I misunderstand what You wanted?” “Am I failing my family?” “Am I failing the church?” “Are You still working here?” And that was the hard part. It wasn’t just the struggle. It was how normal everything still looked on the outside while I felt uncertain on the inside. Sunday would come, and I’d preach. People would shake hands. We’d pray. We’d do church. But privately, I wrestled with doubt more than I wanted to admit.

In that season, there was one verse that kept coming back to me. Not because I went looking for it, but because God kept putting it right in front of me, often through my wife. Galatians 6:9 is one of her favorite verses. She has quoted it to me more times than I can count. She will say it to me, and she will say it to other people too. It’s one of those verses she repeats like a steady reminder when life is heavy: “Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.” I can still hear her voice saying it when I was discouraged. Not in a cheesy way. Not like she was trying to slap a Bible verse on top of a problem. More like a gentle, stubborn faith that wouldn’t let me spiral. There were nights I wanted to believe everything would work out, but I wasn’t sure. I had doubts. I questioned things. I wondered if this season was a warning sign or just a difficult chapter we had to walk through. And slowly, that is what God began teaching me. Faithfulness is not the same thing as feeling confident. Sometimes faithfulness looks like waking up the next day and doing the next right thing when you do not feel strong. Sometimes it looks like praying again, even when you feel like you’ve prayed the same prayer a hundred times. Sometimes it looks like preaching the Word, serving people, loving your family, and staying rooted in Jesus while you are still wrestling inside.

Looking back, I can see God was working in ways I could not see at the time. It wasn’t flashy. It wasn’t instant. But it was real. A family would quietly start showing up and stay. A conversation would happen after service that reminded me God was moving. A person would take a small step toward Jesus that they had been afraid to take for years. A kid would start showing up and actually paying attention. A marriage would start rebuilding. In the moment, those things can feel small. But now I see what God was doing. He was building something deeper than momentum. He was growing roots. Over the past couple months, especially through December, I’ve been really encouraged by what God is doing among us. We’ve seen steady growth. Families are coming. Kids are filling the building. And I know that doesn’t happen by accident. I’m encouraged, but I also feel humbled, because I remember how unsure I felt not that long ago. The biggest thing God grew in that season was not our numbers. It was my trust. I’m learning that God often does His most important work underground first. Like roots spreading deep before anything visible grows up and out, God is often doing more than we can measure in real time. And “coming home” to God, for me, has looked like returning to simple obedience and trust. Not pretending I never doubt. Not acting like I always have it together. But choosing, again and again, to keep my eyes on Jesus and keep doing the good work He put in front of me.

If you are in a season where you’re trying to trust God, but you’re not sure how things will turn out, I want you to hear this. You’re not alone. God is not absent. He is not late. He is not confused about what He’s doing in your life. And you don’t have to have everything figured out to be faithful. Sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is keep showing up, keep praying, keep obeying, and keep trusting that “the proper time” is real, even when you can’t see it yet. “Let us not get tired of doing good… for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.”